lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am spending my child support on dildos
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
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just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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