I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
