Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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