dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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