I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
