I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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