Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
