you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
false alarm. still invincible.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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