SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Floor bacon is actually really good
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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