You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
