either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
