Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
