I must be too annoying 4 u.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
