Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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