i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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