the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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