Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
