you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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