So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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