Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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