I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
