i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I forgot how hot balto sounded
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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