Kiss
Puke
I accidentally burped into my bong.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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