my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
