69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
