Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize