I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
