I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
