i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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