He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
