You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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