am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
