No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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