david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
