singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
