it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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