So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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