wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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