I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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