am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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