I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
