Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I understand Curling. That high.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
