I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize