I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
