Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
