IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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