fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
