oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
