we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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