I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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