If that was your dad, he is hot
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I need to align my fucking chakras
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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