I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
