Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
