I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The power of my boobs compel you
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
