If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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