OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
